That Faith, That Trust, That Love by Jamellah Ellis

Author:Jamellah Ellis
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction
ISBN: 9780307416803
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2007-12-17T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14

PAM’S EYES WERE on the framed photographs that covered her end table, but her mind was still at the doctor’s office. She’d thought she was going to be liberated today. She’d thought she was going to be relieved of the cancerous weight she had been carrying since her surgery back in November. She’d thought, today, that she would receive clearance to stop worrying and start living. Instead, she’d been effectively put on hold. Forced to dwell in uncertainty a little bit longer.

Her last chemotherapy session had been in March, and today she had seen her oncologist for her one-month follow-up. He had examined her chest, heart, lungs, and lymph node areas. He had drawn blood to check her kidneys, liver, and bones. She had expected him to tell her that she had been healed, but he hadn’t. Said he couldn’t. Said it was too soon to tell much of anything. Said he’d know more at her next follow-up visit in July. “See you then,” he had said, as the papers on his clipboard fluttered and he followed her out of the examination room.

It made no sense. For three months she had put her body through a liquid hell, trying to get better— banking on getting better. Each session, she had listened to the nurse talk softly while she pushed hard red fluid through the intravenous needle, followed by white fluid. She had watched the drugs enter her body, and she had drifted along with them into a chemical underworld until her eyelids had grown too heavy to support. She had taken the Zofran for three days after each session, just as the doctor had told her. She had done everything the doctor had told her; she had done more. She had gone out and found an expensive nutritionist to help her reconstruct her entire lifestyle. All of this, and she knew nothing. Wouldn’t know anything for another three months. This was worse than the sickest mind game anyone could ever play on her.

She heard keys unlock her front door and sat upright. She pretended to adjust one of the frames on the end table as Marley walked in.

“Hey, Mom.” Marley dropped her keys into her purse and tossed it on the couch. “Whew—is it a gorgeous day outside or what? Don’t you just love April? Not too hot, not too cold, not too green, and not too pink. It’s just right.”

Pam looked at her daughter. She was beautiful. More beautiful every day. Words couldn’t express the hopes and dreams for her child that she had tucked away in her heart.

“Yeah, April has always been one of my favorite months. Revitalization . . . in April.” Pam stood, placing her hands on her hips.

Marley went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. “Mmm, this tuna salad looks good.” She pulled out the container and stuck a fork in it. “I’m glad to see you’re eating well, Mom.” She heaped a forkful of tuna into her mouth. “Like your nutritionist said, garbage in, garbage out; nutrients in, nutrients out.

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